It was wonderful to read some writing from you. The letter was well thought out and flowed nicely. There were a couple of spelling errors and some missing articles (the). The two corrections I would like to point out are the following as you may not convey the meaning you intended.
- ‘I doubt that you understand‘ – The tone of this phrase is actually that you are saying that they don’t know what they are doing and comes across as a little impolite. The more polite way to phrase this would be ‘I believe‘ or ‘I think‘ you know which steps I am referring to.
- ‘Kindly consider this matter as a request’ – This wording is actually used to tell someone off from a senior person to a junior person in a company. Even though you have used the words ‘kindly’, ‘consider’ and ‘request’. A polite way to say what you mean is ‘Please could you kindly consider my request.’
- At the other end of politeness is the use of the word ‘humble‘. We don’t use this word in Australia in a business letter as it is considered to be an indication of a very low estimate of one’s importance. In Austalia everyone treats everyone as equal as that is how they would like to be treated themselves.
Apart from the phrases above you used some excellent business letter phrases such as: ‘I would like to inform you‘, and ‘which might reduce future incidents‘.
I look forward to reading more writing from you.
See your letters below. The first document (Edited Version) has the editing marks so that you can try and correct your work yourself. The second document (Corrected Version) is the corrected version so that you can see the corrections I have suggested.