A very good letter well done. This is the standard you will need to do in the test. The errors were mainly remembering to use a capital letter at the beginning of a sentence, some spelling errors, so remember the correct spelling for next time you use them. There were a couple of places I have put a ‘?’ as I was not sure what you meant. You used some great vocabulary and phrases such as: dissatisfaction, impeding, for that matter, re-positioned, distracted and constant.
Again, well done.
See my feedback below. The first document (Edited Version) has the editing marks so that you can try and correct your work yourself. The second document (Corrected Version) is the corrected version so that you can see the corrections I have suggested.