Hi  Emmanuel

A very good essay. This is the standard you will need to write in the IELTS test. Only some minor errors. In respect of content, the question asks for your experience. Do you have any personal example you know of to illustrate your ideas?

Finally, you used some very good words: spate, accountable, indecent, fraud, norms.

Well done!

See below for my detailed feedback so that you can see my suggested changes.